Anglican priest rewrites biblical stories making Goliath a drunkard, Eve a sex fiend
London, Mar 29, 2008 / 10:29 pm (CNA).- An Anglican vicar has tried to make Bible stories more “accessible” to modern readers by rewriting them to portray Goliath as a celebrity binge drinker, Eve as a sex addict, and Noah’s wife as a woman with murderous intentions towards her husband, the Daily Mail reports. Reverend Robert Harrison’s book, titled “Must Know Stories," retells ten Bible
"Retells"? Let's be honest and define them as they are - these are "REWRITES".
Good question, Rev Harrison. At least you're admitting you don't know! But muddying the waters doesn't help matters.
In the story of the Nativity, Jesus is born in an overcrowded house instead of a stable. Harrison’s story goes on to portray family conflict as Joseph’s aunt deals with the marital state of Joseph and Mary, who in Harrison’s retelling are unmarried.
Harrison said he wrote the book to encourage people to read stories "that are so utterly part of our culture.” According to the Daily Mail, he said people should know the stories not as a matter of
religion but as a matter of cultural education."
"I wanted to write a book that tells the most important Bible stories in a way that relishes them rather than tries to make any particular religious point.” Rev. Harrison added, "After all, who knows what the point is?”
"What is more important to me is that people are getting to know the stories,” he said.Harrison, who preaches at a West London church, said, "It's better to tell the story controversially than not at all."
Ever think about telling the stories truthfully. You know, as the Bible presents them? And why are you calling them stories? "Lord of the Rings" is a story. "The Little Engine That Could" is a story. You're talking about inspired Scripture here!
The article ends with comments opposed to the Rev. Harrison's approach, such as Catholic MP Ann Widdecombe, who said “It is one thing to give a biblical story a modern application and something quite different to distort all the facts." But hey, since when have facts ever stopped a liberal theologian from doing anything they've wanted to do?
Perhaps for his next book, Harrison can write that Judas was bullied by the other 11 apostles, Uriah's military career drove Bathsheba into despair so she sought love in the arms of King David, Esau lost his birthright because he didn't have a good lawyer, and Jesus was actually married to Mary Magdalene..... oh wait, that one's been taken.
I wonder if Dan Brown has Harrison's phone number.