Coming to a Catechism Class Near You!!

Here's one from the "Relevance Gone Wild" pile:

Anglican priest rewrites biblical stories making Goliath a drunkard, Eve a sex fiend

London, Mar 29, 2008 / 10:29 pm (CNA).- An Anglican vicar has tried to make Bible stories more “accessible” to modern readers by rewriting them to portray Goliath as a celebrity binge drinker, Eve as a sex addict, and Noah’s wife as a woman with murderous intentions towards her husband, the Daily Mail reports. Reverend Robert Harrison’s book, titled “Must Know Stories," retells ten Bible
stories.

"Retells"? Let's be honest and define them as they are - these are "REWRITES".

In the story of the Nativity, Jesus is born in an overcrowded house instead of a stable. Harrison’s story goes on to portray family conflict as Joseph’s aunt deals with the marital state of Joseph and Mary, who in Harrison’s retelling are unmarried.

Harrison said he wrote the book to encourage people to read stories "that are so utterly part of our culture.” According to the Daily Mail, he said people should know the stories not as a matter of
religion but as a matter of cultural education."
"I wanted to write a book that tells the most important Bible stories in a way that relishes them rather than tries to make any particular religious point.” Rev. Harrison added, "After all, who knows what the point is?”

Good question, Rev Harrison. At least you're admitting you don't know! But muddying the waters doesn't help matters.

"What is more important to me is that people are getting to know the stories,” he said.Harrison, who preaches at a West London church, said, "It's better to tell the story controversially than not at all."

Ever think about telling the stories truthfully. You know, as the Bible presents them? And why are you calling them stories? "Lord of the Rings" is a story. "The Little Engine That Could" is a story. You're talking about inspired Scripture here!

The article ends with comments opposed to the Rev. Harrison's approach, such as Catholic MP Ann Widdecombe, who said “It is one thing to give a biblical story a modern application and something quite different to distort all the facts." But hey, since when have facts ever stopped a liberal theologian from doing anything they've wanted to do?

Perhaps for his next book, Harrison can write that Judas was bullied by the other 11 apostles, Uriah's military career drove Bathsheba into despair so she sought love in the arms of King David, Esau lost his birthright because he didn't have a good lawyer, and Jesus was actually married to Mary Magdalene..... oh wait, that one's been taken.

I wonder if Dan Brown has Harrison's phone number.

The Final Straw

If you have a friend, one who is fairly prominent and well-known, and their name and status was taken advantage of in order to propagate an agenda contrary to that friend's beliefs and values, you'd step in and do something about it, right? Especially if that friend was quite possibly unaware of what was going on?

That's another reason for this blog - to defend the people and institutions (in this case, the one, holy, apostolic, catholic Church) I love and hold dear.

And here's the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back:

Those of you in the Archdiocese of Detroit might be familiar with a Great Priest by the name of Fr John Riccardo. I am truly a better man for being able to consider this Great Priest a friend, and I'm honored that he considers me as his friend too. Rock solid to the core, a model of humility, faithful to the Church, the Holy Father, the Magesterium, the type of priest every parish deserves and needs, yet so many are lacking. You can read and listen to Fr John's homilies and talks here - well worth your time. He is that good.

Well, the Wandering Tribe known as The Elephants in the Living Room have misappropriated Fr John's name here. While checking out their site earlier this week, I was quite surprised to see this Great Priest's name on their home page, along with the title of one of his talks, "In Defense of The Male Priesthood". Now you have to understand that this Wandering Tribe holds near and dear that the prohibition of women's ordination is an unfair doctrine, and that it must be allowed for the sake of justice, and so on. In the past, they've had events where the guest whiners....um, I mean speakers, have been Joan Chittister, Dean Hoge, Donald Cozzens, and most recently, Fr Thomas Reese. Not exactly the poster children of orthodoxy. So when I saw the Great Priest's name, it immediately brought to mind that ditty from Sesame Street: "One of These Things Doesn't Belong Here".

Upon clicking on the link, lo and behold, the article that appeared was one written by Robert Blair Kaiser, a typical diatribe against the Church and the teaching of the all-male priesthood. Can't say I was surprised - but it represented a new low for the old heretics. A classic bait-and-switch example, and a demonstration of the dishonest deceitful tactics the Evil One will entice sinners to use if they are unable to compete in the arena of ideas - or in this case, the arena of Truth. Shameful and disgraceful.

Granted, this Wandering Tribe is dying out of existence, and I normally don't give them and their opinions the benefit of a second thought. But in this case, where the reputation and name of an orthodox, holy Great Priest is improperly used to promote an agenda that is entirely heterodox, something had to be done and said. It'd be one thing if RBK's article and name was on the homepage - big deal, nothing to say. But to create the impression and sow confusion that this Great Priest is associated with this Wandering Tribe is an evil act and has to be made public. It creates scandal, and is a direct violation of the 8th Commandment.

I've called Fr John and left him a voice mail about this, and I'm hopeful he takes steps to correct this, maybe even go to the Archdiocese with a formal complaint. And I'm renaming this Wandering Tribe to The Serpents in the Closet. Someone has to defend the honor and good name of the majestic elephant, along with the good name and reputation of a Great Priest.

St John Vianney, pray for us! And pray for these individuals that they turn from their obstinacy.

So What's This All About Then?

For the past few weeks, this blog idea has been circulating through my mind: a sort of clearinghouse for the goings-on and rantings of heterodox Catholic groups, pointing out with a blend of humor and seriousness the errors of their Ways, their so-called Truths and pitiable Life. Not to give them publicity - I mean, let's get serious. This blog ain't no America or Commonweal! But from time to time, I check in on some of the Wandering Tribes in my Archdiocese and state (see list in sidebar) to see what trouble they're getting into. It used to make me angry in my younger, more zealous days, reading about their "big plans" to get the hierarchy to change, their "goals" to democratize the Church, their "Spirit-led desires" to lead the laity into newer and deeper levels of shallow Catholicism.

Now, though, it only leads me to pray for them, and to have pity on them. It's sad, very very sad. So many had their dreams launched back in the 70's when Call to Action convened, only to find that the rocket never really took off. It's still on the launchpad, gathering dust, engines not firing, life support systems barely functioning. But from that, many other groups were spawned. Some are local, and some have more national infamy. And all have one thing in common - a disdain for orthodoxy and opposition against authority (except their own, of course).

So why this blog then? Well, unfortunately, these groups still wield some influence around where I live, and while they're probably on their last legs, it's important that the general populace know that there is a difference between what they believe the Church ought to be (most often based on the "spirit of Vatican II") and what the Church knows what She is: the spotless bride of Christ, founded by the Son of God, second person of the Trinity. And while it's a Church made up of sinners (this blogger stands at the head of the confession line), She still proposes for our belief all that God has revealed. Unchanging doctrine that is reliable and life-giving. And it's important that the Truth gets passed on to the next generation, not the half-Truths and flat out lies that the Enemy wants promulgated. That's where the battle lies - to ensure the integrity of the passing on of the faith. This isn't a smear campaign against individuals, but a battlefront against Evil. I want to make that distinction clear.

In essence, then, this blog is part apologetics, part expose, part information and entirely Catholic. I don't know where this is headed, but I pray it bears fruit, and leads souls to conversion. I don't know a lot about everything, but I think I know enough about somethings so as to not mess up other Catholics' faith!

I hope those of you who read this blog come back, to give it a chance. And for those of you who don't, I hope you find and stay on the narrow road. Perhaps we'll meet in heaven and have a good laugh over the truly funny things we read at other people's blogs....